Broke London

A car crash guide to surviving life

WISE THINGS MY FRIENDS SAY

My friends are a wise bunch of borderline alcoholics and god knows I love each and every one of them.
So I’ve┬áselected┬ásome of their pearls of wisdom to share with all of you. May you grow from their insight and flourish under their instruction.
NB: I’ve re-imagined these nuggets (unfortunate choice of word considering my first pearl of wisdom) as some of those inspirational (i.e. wanky) posts from Instagram. Because nothing sorts out life’s problems like a meaningless quote layered over a stock image of a bike with flowers in the basket.

ENJOY

I forced him to walk me to the station and then I LUNCHED him (1)
I can confirm they are 100% not.

I forced him to walk me to the station and then I LUNCHED him (2)I forced him to walk me to the station and then I LUNCHED him (3)Have I fuck (1)Have I fuckWhen you shiver it means a boy has swiped left on you on tinder (2)When you shiver it means a boy has swiped left on you on tinderYou know who is a bitch, and who I do hate- Miss MarpleWhen you shiver it means a boy has swiped left on you on tinder (3)
I forced him to walk me to the station and then I LUNCHED him
She meant lunged. Does it make it better? I can’t decide.

When you shiver it means a boy has swiped left on you on tinder (1)
Again wrong word – she meant neurotic. We did not correct her.

I'm not sorryI'll never be sorrytake a walk (1)I can't find the dancing girl emojj. I reckon she's fucked off to Bali. That's where everyone goestake a walk

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