Broke London

A car crash guide to surviving life

Cheapest Brunch EVER

At the risk of sounding ‘basic’ (apparently this is a thing? Is it a thing? Oh help me why am I so out of touch?!) I bloody love a good brunch.

This is what came up when I googled ‘basic girls who like brunch’. Is Ryan a basic girl? Why is brunching with Ryan basic? THIS ANSWERS NONE OF MY QUESTIONS. like I mean I’ll go…but…I’ll be confused.

  1. Because it means that you got out of bed before 3pm and therefore are a real life human. Look at you sitting at that distressed oak table sipping on a green smoothie (if you’re still trying to rid the hangover shakes) smiling benevolently at your mates (scanning to locate the loo lest an accidental sick occur).schmidt-celebrate
  2. It also means that you have made something of your weekend. You are up and out and ALIVE. You are a WINNER. You could totally like go to an art gallery this afternoon, or do all that life admin that makes your chest feel really small and tight when you think about it. Or more realistically you could make that brunch a bottomless one and take yourself home for a drunken snooze – you still win, trust me.
  3. Because it’s neither breakfast nor lunch it’s a weird blurred lines type of meal. I mean, essentially it needs to cover your calorie needs (lol) for TWO MEALS. Best eat your heart out then hadn’t you. ‘yep I will have the eggs royale and the pancakes please. Could I also have a coffee, a juice and also a milkshake. Thanks. Oh yes and ten bloody marys.’

As usual stupid old London wants to ruin our boozy fun by offering insanely delicious brunch options but pricing them as if this were not some eggs on a plate but a small two bed flat with a balcony.
So take advantage of this insane offer from Stylist: 2 for 1 on brunches at a variety of locations across London. Until the end of feb no less! All you have to do is sign up to their free newsletter Emerald Street (which is really great too btw) and then sign up for the brunch you want. Simples.
Also I didn’t get paid to write this because HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Sorry I mean…cough…I didn’t get paid to write this because Stylist magazine is not that interested in paying me to influence my mum and sisters. Hai readership!

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